E G O - let it go...!!!

Sometimes your silly little ego may cost you  so much ......... Perhaps so much that you cant repair it back........ i am a living example..... my friend ......a childhood friend named Mohit was a kind of besttie....a good friend who was always there for me. we studied in the same class . he always depended on my notes.......he never listened to any lectures nor made any notes except for chemistry.....because right from his 7th grade he was in deep  love with chemistry mam -a beautiful young lady in her 20's.........the element named 'sense of humor' overflowed in him......i enjoyed speaking to him.....the atmosphere around him was always one out of fun and laughter ...... He had a  kind of medicine installed in him......the medicine to make anyone smile....let it be the saddest person on earth or the Hitler himself..!!!....after we completed our 10th grade he went away to another city with his parents and i remained as a day boarder in my own town........days passed by.....he used to call every time he passed by our town...... but i could not make it up to meet him as i always had some or the other exams.......then the time came when even we shifted to the same city...........excitingly and to my surprise we owned a house in the same street......it is just 5 mins walk from my house to his.......but  unfortunately  i needed to join my college hostel..... he too joined a  college (different one and was a day boarder).....he used to call me up sometimes and talk and even that span of time he made me laugh like hell.....whenever i went home i used to call him up and tell about my arrival ... so that he can come to my house and have lunch together with my family........but once he did not respond to my message ........he called me up when i back to my hostel..... i got angry and never bothered to call him until he begs a pardon from me.........weeks passed.....i got irritated....months passed.... i got more angrier and behaved as if i was least bothered about him.....years passed...its been three years from the time he last called me......when i got home i just thought of going to his house and say to him aloud that " I AM NOT BOTHERED ABOUT A PERSON WHO DON'T BOTHER ME!!" Anger was to the peaks ......i went to his home......greeted his mom with an unpleasant smile.....came to know about  something i never wanted to know......i was angry but not soooooooo that i could resist my tears from flowing down.......i ran back to my house and CRIED.....i cursed myself about all my foolishness..... my friend was no more.!!!!.......He was dead three years ago.....in an accident while crossing the road......  i dint pray for him but instead cursed him all these years...!!! i am sorry!!! I will never be able to forgive me......................